Saturday, January 9, 2010

Charley and the Chocolate Factory (Christmas Poop)

For those of you who don't know (and live under a rock) we got a new dog in August. He was a birthday gift for Karen and was the cutest little puppy in the world. I used to take him with me to the drive-thru just so all the girls at Whataburger would ooh and ahh over him. He is a puggle, which is the leading breed in a new fad of designer dog breeds. He is a mix between a female beagle ( who was only 12 pounds) with a black male pug (who was 14 pounds). He was 3 pounds when we picked him up and we were assured he would be no more than 15 pounds. He's 20 pounds now and wait, it gets better.

Let's just say, it's been an interesting couple of weeks. We took him to Kansas with us for Christmas. We were really proud of how well he acted. He has a tendency to act out a little bit at home, but only if he's been couped up in our laundry room all day while we are at work. We hated keeping him in there, but we just didn't trust him yet to roam the house all day. While we were in Kansas, we caught a glimpse of how it might be if left him that way because he jumped over the gate my mom uses to keep her dog Jake in the kitchen while she is at work. He did pretty good. He just laid on the couch and waited until we got home. Didn't pee on the carpet, didn't chew up the couch... nothing. We thought it was a positive sign. Maybe it was time?

So we got home after our trip, and I had the following week off from work, I left him alone in the house twice that week for a couple of hours at a time. He did great. He seemed not as anxious when I got home as he usually did when he stayed in the laundry room and he didn't tear anything up either. Monday came and he was ready for his big day. The first day when Karen and I were at work all day.

Week One: Christmas Poop to Maple Hardwood Floors

Monday: New Favorite Desert
So Charley, having done so well, so far, it was time for the real test. I left the house after Karen so I made sure to remove every temptation from his reach. The pillows were removed from the couch, nothing but Charley's toys were left in the floor and I walked him before I left to make sure he was "empty" before I left. All systems were a "go", or so I thought. I had forgotten that he could do this...
I had also forgotten that we had a candy dish with a holiday favorite in it, Hershey's Kisses. We came home to find an empty candy dish, gold, silver, red and green foil candy wrappers all over the ground and a dog who was running circles around the couch. For those of you who are worried that Charley died or at the very least got sick, not to worry, for a 20 pound dog, it would take 95 or so Kisses to be lethal and he only had about 15. He was, how ever bouncing off the walls until about 3am!
I took the blame for that one, so I thought, if we make sure to remove everything from the counter, he should be ok. I was wrong.

Tuesday- Wednesday: Christmas Poop
He did ok in the house these couple of days, other than the occasional shredded toy, the footprints on the counter, the nose prints and the window and what I coined "Christmas Poop". Every time Charley had a movement for a couple of days after the chocolate incident, it was chocolate mixed with gold, silver, red and green! If it hadn't been feces, it may have even qualified as beautiful! At the very least, Christmas-y.

Thursday: The Berber of Seville
We thought that maybe by now, we had cleared all the obstacles to success and we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Alas, no. We hadn't seen anything yet. Karen beat me home on Thursday night and I got an angry phone call. From her tone, thoughts went through my head about what could have been wrong. She was so mad she could spit nails. All I heard was the faint sound of barking, muffled as if it was coming from outside. "He's outside, and he's not coming back in", she shouted into the receiver. I knew he must have done something really bad for Karen to kick our dog out of the house on the coldest night in Houston in 25 years! He had pulled a snag in our berber carpet and pulled. He pulled and pulled until there was a strip of carpet missing about 3 inches wide and a full yard long. Not only was it not repairable, it was in a place that not even a rug would be able to cover it. With the baby coming, we really didn't need to replace the flooring right now, but there is no way Karen could live with this. It was really bad.

Friday: Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
Charley finished the job. Now there are two more places in the carpet that match the first. Now we absolutely have to replace the carpet. I had wanted hardwood flooring since we moved in to the house, but not right now. But now it would have to be. Karen said Charley and I were in cahoots. That I somehow coerced the dog to tear up the carpet so I could put in new flooring!

Today (Saturday): Hardwood for Hard Times
I won't bore you with the details of our day shopping for hardwood flooring, but tonight, we picked some out and bought it. So, in a few weeks, we expect to raise our resale value (or at least that is the silver lining I sold to Karen!) By the way, Charley is still alive and we are still keeping him... for now :) How can you not love this face?
This is a picture of the puppy we fell in love with and the carpet he destroyed, in better days!


  1. OMG Jeremy! this is hilarious. Well at least you get new beautiful floors out of it!

  2. haha I love puggles, I have been reading about them a lot lately. I read on this Puggle site that they actually were bred back in the 70's but are just becoming more popular now